Its Fall!

Today was truely a beautiful fall day! Beautiful weather and fun times today. Farmers market in front of our house all afternoon - Dakota's favorite day of the week as she loves to sit on the deck and people watch.....

And while she people watched, I baked a gluten free apple crisp.....

And then an afternoon walk to Hovander Park!

Dog Training

Here's a little clip of what Dakota is learning :) Last night we gave her a bath, I wish I had videotaped the aftermath! That dog loves her baths, and running around like crazy afterwords - and squeezing her squeaky toy at double time!

Summer 2011

Reasons for not blogging all summer!

Decorating my living room! I love my flowers

              Celebrating our 1st Anniversary

Lake Tahoe!

 Celebrating my birthday!

San Fran!

Getting a new dog - Dakota girl

In a friends wedding

Buying a new bedroom set!

A New Addition!

We've added a new member to our family! We are now the official owners of a sweet female puggle named Dakota. Dakota girl has had some rough times in her 18 months of life, but she seems to be bouncing back well and fitting right into our home. She doesn't shake anymore when a stranger walks up! Not bad for only 2 weeks of training on that.

She's bonded especially with me, which I love!!! Follows me everywhere - loves to watch movies with me, clean house, and KILL BUGS! I have no fear any longer of the bugs in our home, she pounces on them before I even see them! She then sits proudly over their dead bodies until I clean it up. What a good dog! Its amazing how much a little 18lb ball of fur can bring so much happiness into a life. Millie's been gone a year and I finally felt ready to attach to another dog. I'm so glad God created these puppies for us to enjoy :)

Here's a couple pics from today's walk :)

Geneology - fancy word for family history

I love researching my family history - not just the date of birth/death  - but the places they lived, where they married, etc. So far I have been able to obtain a photocopy of several GGGrandparent's marriage licenses, old family photos from the 1800's, and much more. You learn fun stuff about your relatives.....

That they came to America in the 1600's
Why did 3 brothers die in the 1680's - was there a war or an epidemic?
What happened to all the brother's and cousins who all lived in NY during the Revolutionary War?
And where, of course, does the famous Richard Monckton Milnes enter our family line?
Why did the woman in one family hid from the pig farmers? (yes, this is truly recorded in a family book)
How did my GGGgrandmother continue to have kids into her late 50's?! Yes, its recorded in the 1851 census reports (and others). Was there perhaps a marriage to a 2nd and younger wife?
And....who was the secret actress that divorced my GGrandpa in the 1800's? And did their son really die?

There are more death certificates to be discovered, more war records to be read, more history to study....and this only covers one tiny line of the family. So many more to be recorded!!

Mother's Day

The eve of Mother's Day ~ this year is different for me. It's different because I am a mother. It's different because I don't have my babies to hold. But my husband still gave me a mother's day card :) I love it. Though my babies are no longer here, I can still celebrate tomorrow. It's a way of showing the world that the unborn did and still do exist and to celebrate their lives, no matter how short they may have been.

Gluten Free Cooking

So here's a post about what I eat as a gluten free(GF) addict. I don't often cook with gluten free items, so I may have a boring meal plan :) I tend to eat items that are naturally gluten free..... here's some ideas

Dinners
Chicken breasts with potatoes and veggies
I typically will put this all in the crockpot in the AM with nothing but prebought gluten free chicken broth. Or, if I'm out of the broth, I will use orange juice, or just water. I will also a variety of spices/herbs to season it

Stew - meat, carrots, potatoes
I put this in the crockpot as well, with prebought GF beef broth. Also will ad GF ketchup and spices/herbs.

Chicken/beef stirfry
I cut up uncooked chicken or beef and cook it on stove with veggies and rice. Again, these are all naturally GF foods.

And yes, those are the typical dinners we eat. Not much variety. Most of our dinners consist of variations of meat, potatoes, and veggies.

Lunches
I usually have a sandwich or tortilla

GF rice tortillas - add GF peperroni, GF lunch meat, cheese and spices/herbs
GF Bagels - add the same topppings as listed
GF pizza crust - same toppings as above. Usually add GF beans as well

All my pizza crusts, bread, bagels etc are  prebough GF items. I have had no sucess with making my own. The taste and texture is just to aweful when its homemade and I usally end up having to throw it out.

Breakfasts
GF oatmeal
GF cereal

So there is my exciting meal planning. I have very little variety, but when I lived at home, I didn't have space to store gluten free food makings. Now that I have my own place I might try to get more variety. But we shall see : ) I would love to make my dinners more exciting, since my husband eats it with me even though he doesn't have the allergies. No way am I making 2 different dinners a night! :) Up to this point, I haven't found a reciepe for good GF lasanga or spagetti. I personally think the noodles taste really bad and the consistency is usally runny.

Vacation 101

How do you go on vacation, have everything not go as planned, and still have a good time? The answer: appreciate the upheavel cuz it makes for a good blog post :)

 

Here's what can happen in 20 min when you are on vacation.....

• Room service called 5 times
• Stirring my meds in a glass, only to have the spoon break
• The shower flooded the bathroom
• Coffee spilled
• Milk spilled

 

And there's more......

• Start for dinner at 5:00 pm, but don't get served until 8:30
• Endure the freezing cold hotel room, only to finally find the heater nob after 24 hours
• Couldn't figure how to turn of the bathroom light, so it stayed on all night     
• Asked by the cashier why we'd want to vacation in her crummy town
•  Hotel alarm clock going off thoughout the night even though we didn't set it and turned the power off. I finally smothered it with pillows
• Asking for direction to the nearby cemetary, only to be given directions by a gas station employee who knew about it cuz "he once got arrested there"

 

But here's a good picture of the falls and our hotel :)

 

The Spring of 2007 ~ how it all started

Last night was the start of softball season. As I walked across the field to watch my man play, I got nostalgic thinking about how softball brought us together 4 years ago. So here's our story!

Matt had decided to join my church's men's softball team. I was on the coed team. After 1 game I had to drop out due to a foot injury. But I secretly was rather glad about it, cuz this meant I could watch Matt's games! I was getting interested in this guy who was confindent, could carry his own in a conversation, was into finances, and had a great sense of humor (and was 6 ft w/ black hair - my ultimate dream man). Only problem was, he didn't know I existed. So some careful planning was put into place (but I'll just stick with the softball facts this time around :D ).

I started attending every game he had. Sometimes he'd talk to me afterwards, but mostly not. Then came my big break, the Border Bash game!! An all day event where they played ball nonstop. I got up at 6:00 AM to get to this - even curled my hair for if! That was one long day - sitting in the rain and cold watching game after game. During one game he hit a home run and as he ran past the fence where I was standing he said "that was for you". That was my first real sign after months that he might be interested.

But alas the games ended and we walked to our cars. As I was pulling out he waived me down and said he'd go to the post game party if I would. Of course! Off to the party we went, caravan style. But alas, the party ended and again nothing else concrete said. Within minutes of leaving my cell rang....yep, him again. He asked if I'd like to drive past his work. 

And so as we stood in the pouring rain on the road looking at his work, with rain drenching my gorgeouse curls and mascara running down my face, he simply said "You came to every game for months, and today you watched every game in the rain. You must be sombody special. Would you be my girlfriend?"

and of course I said yes :) FINALLY!

The life of a gluten free addict

I'm walking down the grocery aisle and my eyes zoom in on a brand new product. A gluten free Mint Chocolate Chip power bar. Can it be?!! It's been years since I've tasted such goodness. And now it's in the gluten free form so I can enjoy it again! I spend the high price and eagerly ripe the package open. My teeth sink in. The goodness crumbles in my mouth (as opposed to melt). The chalk-like substince sprinkles from the edge of the bar around my driver's seat. So much for a freshly vacuumed car. I try another bite. It is confirmed. This bar is has nothing in common with a real mint chocolate chip bar then the name on the wrapper. And so again I must live with just a long ago memory of Mint Chocolate Chip.

And yes, I intend to return the half eaten power bar due to consumer dissatisfaction.

God's promise

The Angel of Prayer

In memory of baby Michael

 

God's promise to me.

A day with no more dying, no more loss, and no more tears.

Happiness is delayed for a time, but it shall come.

For one day I will see my babies and hold them close to me.

"For you are held in grievous bonds, while he's forever free"

I think I have yet to truly post a Small Rambling on this blog :) Here's another long one, you history buffs will love it.

This was a letter writen by my ggg Grandfather during the Civil War. His friend had just died in the death house of Camp Chase when the friend received word that his fiance has been unfaithful. Here is what my Grandfather wrote back to the unfaithful fiance.

"Your letter came, but came to late. For heaven had claimed its own. There are sudden changes from prison bars unto the Great White Throne. And yet I think he would have stayed for one more day of pain, could he have read those tardy words which you have sent in vain.

Wy did you wait, fair lady through so many a weary hour, had you other lovers with you, in that silken dainty bower? Did others bow before your charms and twine bright garlands there?And yet I ween in all that throng his spirit had no peer.

I wish thatyou were by me now as I draw the sheet aside. To see thee look how pure it were awhile before he died. Yet the sorrow that  you gave him still had left its weary trace and a meek and saintly sadness dwells upon his pallied face.

"her love", he said, "could change for me the winter's cold to spring". Ah, trust of thoughtless maiden's lvoe, thou art a bitter thing. For when these valley fair in May-once more with bloom shall wave and the northern violets blow above his humble grave. You dole of scanty words had been, nut one more pang to bear. Though, to the last, he kissed with love this tress of your soft hair. I did not put it where he said, for when the angels come, I would not have them find the sign of falsehood in the tomb.

I've read the letter, and I know the wiles that you have wrought to win that noble heart of hisand gained it - fearful thought. What lavish wealth men sometimes give for a trifle, light and small. What manly forms are often held in follie's flimsy thrall.

You shall not pity him, for now he's past your hope and fear; Although I wish that you could stand with me besides his grave. Still I forgive you; Heaven knows. For mercy you'll have need since God his aweful judgement sends on each unworthy deed. Tonight the cold winds whistle by as I my vigil keep. Within the prisons dead house were few mourns come to wheep. A rude plank coffin holds him now, yet death gives always grace. And I would rather seem him thus, then clasped in your embrace. Tonight your rooms are very gay, with wit and wine and song; and you are smirking jsut as if you never did a wrong. Your hand so fair that none would think it penned these words of pain. Your skin so white, would god, your soul, where half so free of stain.

 I'd rather be the dear dear friend then you in all your glee. For you are held in greivous bonds while he's forever free. Whom serve we in this life, we serve in that which is to come. He chose his way; you, your's. Let God pronounce the final doom."

How would you respond?

Your friend is going through unexplained health challenges. Your friend faces financial ruin. Your friend is in a car accident. Now, lets say this all starts happening after your friend has made a decision for his/her life that you don't agree with. How would you respond? Honestly.

If we were honest, we'd probably have to admit that we would be wondering if God was punishing them, or trying to get their attention, or giving them grief/consequecnes for their decision that you think is a bad choice.

"To him who is afflicted, kindness should  be shown by his friend" Job 6:14

A simple truth, but yet one we may not follow in thought or deed. When Job was stricken with calamity, his friends came to comfort him. But after a while, and more things happend to Job, they started to lecture him and told him his afflications were the conequences for something he must have done wrong.  What did Job do? Sounds like he was quite stunned for a time. What he needed was a reason to hope, for kindness, and words that showed that his friends believed in him. And thats what Job told his friends.

So the next time you see afflication happening to your friend, show kindess to them - in thought and deed. Don't presume that they are in sin and under punishment by God. Leave it to God to make the call on that.

When someone is grieving, listen, don't lecture.

*there have been no recent circumstances that spur this post. Just something I have observed in mankind :)

Facing the day

Facing the day inspite of fear. Sometimes that can be challenging! My mom recently shared this beautful poem with me. Its all about learning how to face life each day as it comes - despite our fears, our weaknesses, our shortcomings, the unknown. Tonight I hold tight to this poem as I remember the little one I lost 6 months ago today.

Happiness is something we create in our mind,
It’s not something we search for and so seldom find,
It’s just waking up and beginning the day
by counting our blessings and kneeling to pray,
It’s giving up thoughts that breed discontent
And accepting what comes as a gift heaven-sent,
It’s giving up wishing for things we have not
And making the best of whatever we’ve got,
It’s knowing that life is determined for us,
And pursuing our tasks without fret, fume or fuss,
For it’s by completing what God gives us to do
That we find real contentment and happiness, too.

For a Time: Melinda ~ "Beautiful Little One"

*Matt and I lost our first little one at about 4 weeks. This is my heart openly sharing because I believe those who have lost an unborn child don't have much of a voice.

6 months. Half a year. I will remember always the little one that was mine for a time. Mine to care for, to share my being with. Though I never held her or saw her, she was a part of me. And always will be. How does the heart mourn for the lost? It happened so fast. Only knew for a short time, then baby was gone.

Some mourn silently, others don't know what to say. Some cry openly, some cry inside and pretend its ok. Everyone mourns differently, but we all mourn. Our friends don't know what to say, or if they even should. Its not talked about, its to awkward. Its ok to ask, I want to be asked, I want to know people do care. I'm saddened to have lost a little one, but more then anything I want people to know there was a life there! There's a pang to say there was a loss, but what a joy to be able to say you carried a life within you! I wonder what she looked like. Did she have Matt's eyes and my smile? Maybe his dimples. Maybe my hair color. She was real. I want people to know that. And some day I will hold her in my arms.

Moving on has been hard. There's grief over Melinda. There's fear over the next future baby dying. There's fear over the emotions and changes I will experience if I go through that again. Woman who loose aren't asked how they feel or how they're doing. This is how we feel. And how we're doing is often masked with a smile.

The Rememberance Angel

given by my parents

If I were to be asked though if I would have rather had no baby at all vs having and lossing, I'd pick the latter. I am so incredibly thankful for the life I carried for a time. Melinda will always be a part of me no matter what.

A Love Poem

I am the proud family keeper of 2 of my great great grandpa's Civil War diaries. They are brimming with tales of the dangers of living at sea and the love he felt towards his fiance - often written in poetic nature. Here's is one of my favorites written about his fiance while they were an ocean apart with no hope of when they would see each other again. *note, this woman was not my grandma. The fiance died unexpectedly, shortly after this poem was sent to her.

There is a heart, a faithful heart
That throbs for thee alone
A heart that beats with fairest love
Tould beat against thine own.
No arrow, winged from Cupid's bow
Ere pierced my vital part
No has another image found
Its center in my heart

Now had I wings I'd rise at once
And flee though far away
To cheer thee in thy loneliness
And never go astray
For thou enshrines within my heart
Hast solely sovereign power
I am thy slave and still must be
Until my latest hour

Though absence part us for awhile
And distance lies between
Believe whoever may revile
I'm still what I have been
For to my dying day my heart
Thro every fate will be
If doome'd till then to mourn apart
Unchanging still to thee

Unfinished Project #1 - FINISHED!

Here's unfinished project #1, and its now finished! My first quilt!!!! It's just slightly smaller then a twin bed, perfect for a child's bed someday. I think this is my longest kept unfinished project - 18 years. As I was sewing it this week I told my husband that it would some day be a family antique - he informed me that it was so old that it was already an antique! So true I'm afraid..... This unfinished beauty transfered with me through 5 moves, and had even more storage units as its home. It has now found a home on our couch, a much better place.

And yes, it had an old smell - but the sun has taken that away :)

Off to finish the next unfinished project....I have a host to choose from!

The New Me

I cut my hair, as you can see :) Not sure yet what I really think of it, I haven't had short hair since I was 16! Now I gotta work on stylin it :)

My husband only said it makes my head look big....hmmm....not really the look I was going for....but its probably true since my hair isn't really noticable now that its short :)

Put it off till tomorrow - or the next decade

Have you ever started a project, determined to finish it, only to have it become an unfinished dust collector? I'm a pro at doing this. I get close to finishing something, and then put it away. I'm the same with eating - nearly always leave a couple bites on my plate. Well, sometimes its good to not take all the food, so I'll keep that habit. But its time to start finishing those unfinished projects......and there's a lot of them!! Started the first one this week....stay tuned for a picture of the final result!

To homeschool or not to homeschool

A recent post of mine on facebook has stirred up a bit of controversy. The subject: to homeschool or not to homeschool. Here are some statements that I found thought provoking.

*it is our responsibility as parents to educate our children.
*at the end of the day, every child is different and they all have different learning styles and that must be paramount in the decision
* there has been no separation between being a teacher and a mother so I would hope I have been good at both
*I don't believe any one educational choice is best for every person/mom/kid. I think it's personal and individual for each... family/kid/mom.


First thank you all who openly shared your thoughts on the matter! There was much heart felt thoughts coming from both sides. You may wonder where I stand on this issue. Here it is.

I truly want what is best for my child someday. I want to create a healthy and benaficial environment for my child to grow academically as well as emotionally/spiritually. That being said, some of my readers my assume I will be homeschooling from preschool to the 12th grade! Not necessarily so.

Here is my "dream" school situation for my children. To find a small Christian school where they can be well trained in the academics. True, there will be influences of other children that I won't have control over. However, if at any time I find that a school influence is pulling my child down, I would have no problem pulling that child out to homeschool or find another school. Each child's needs will be different.

Why do I not wish to homeschool? Frankly, I wish to be a mother, not a mother and a school teacher. I want to enjoy spending time with my kids and for them to enjoy time with me.

**Edit on my reasons (which were posted while high with fever:))
I believe that the relationship with a child is foremost important and that for some, homeschooling would only make that relationship suffer. Before homeschooling each mom needs to really evaluate if she is capable to homeschool based on her academically ability, physically ability, and emotionally stabilty. I for one am not the healthiest (physical) on the planet.

I think its time for homeschoolers to think outside the box. Its not wrong to NOT homeschool. Sometimes the best decision for the well being of a child is to NOT homeschool :)

You have to start somewhere.....

Check back soon for posts!